jeudi 26 septembre 2013

5 Reasons Why Cat Is Man’s Best Friend

The world is divided into two categories: dogs’ friends and cats’ lovers. I am not exaggerating, please. Let’s forget about those heartless people who are just indifferent to both, worse they don’t like them or are allergic to them. In this post, I’ll try to show why I belong to the second group and why the first one is wrong.

1.      Your companion shows you the reality of freedom
Sure, “man is by nature a social animal” (Aristotle), but society tends to deprive us from our freedom. You are afraid of wearing clothes you like, saying loud what you think since you are afraid of the judgment of your peer. Any animal is also meant to be free, not to please others. Voluntary slavery like working for a boss who humiliates you or staying in a destructive relationship is more than common. But doing this, you just swap your freedom for a more comfortable life.
Cats are free…at least independent. They don’t really care spending most of their time alone and are not looking to be your best friend. They won’t come to you purring because they like you, but only because they can get their own pleasure this way.  They won’t run after a ball you threw and bring it back to you in order to show how loyal or obedient they are to you, how much you can count on them…bullshit! Cats don’t obey but remain very sweet companions as long as you feed them and don’t invade their Lebensraum. This one for example is capable of obvious demonstration of affection. Yes, he drools…I am talking of huuuge drops of saliva.
So, cats are this perfect combination of independence and affection. Observe your cat and learn your lesson. This is harmony; this is the yin and the yang.

2.      They have good manners
They just do. I bet your cat needed no more than one month before doing its business in its litter. How much time does that take for dogs? The question doesn’t make sense for you have to take the time to get them out so they can take some fresh air – once again they need you - and do their business on the pavement…lovely. How much time does it take for us? I won’t try to convert one month to cat years to know how long it is for a cat’s life, but surely it would be much less than that.
How often should we bring our cats to a pet grooming salon so that they have a shiny coat and smell good? We never do since they have good manners and maybe spend over half of their awake time cleaning themselves.
They don’t need you (well, sometimes you have to open a door).

Sometimes they also secretly envy you eating your pot-au-feu

3.      They won’t get you into trouble
I remember that asshole in the second building I used to live in here in Bremen. That huge black dog – I never saw him, I don’t know anything about breeds, and I don’t give a damn – barking every morning on weekdays at 7 am. Early enough to wake you up and late enough you don’t have enough time to fall asleep again before going to work, which would be useless trying anyway since the poor (!!!) animal never stopped…lovely. So you have to hate your neighbor and tell him in a polite way he should do something. Of course that kind of things ruins every neighbor’s life, but no one complained. I let you guess who eventually did and saved the world. Don’t blame the landlords if they don’t want their tenants to have dogs! They just have better things to do than dealing with noise issues coming from their property. A cat will never meow because you left or because it wants to go for a walk.
But this was the lesser of two evils. Nobody got hurt. How many times did I see dog masters taking the whole city as a big leash-free dog park? Of course, the dog comes to you and smells you…lovely. Then you always hear: “awww don’t be afraid. He/She’s nice.” Sure. A dog can still bite you suddenly and in France at least, dogs must walk on a leash in public areas. A neighbor of my parents got bitten by a dog in the street in their small village. He had to go to the hospital right away so they can put stitches in the wound. Even those wild and ugly stray cats (e.g. in Morocco) will never do you any harm.
They are too busy to pay attention to you.

4.      They are just cute
Why does that big – for many people annoying – thing called LOL CAT come from? Why have those funny pictures starring kitties been so successful? We all know it’s stupid and vain, but please be honest: who has never spent time browsing those pictures during their working hours? Who has never forwarded or post some of them on social networks? Who has never called their colleagues to show them the-funniest-video-ever? No one…unless you’re a saint; but if you are, you shouldn’t be reading my naughty blog.
Let’s enjoy a quick demonstration of cats’ natural cuteness.

Versus this:  

5.      Men tend to be jealous of them
Men often prefer spending time with their male friends than with their girlfriend. But still. You have to stay at their disposal: if you send them a message, do not expect a prompt answer. If they send anything to you and you are not answering right away, it’s the end of the world…lovely. If you give more attention – and love – to your cat, and I hope you do, they will get jealous. Any efficient and easy way to annoy men being welcome (this is called pure revenge), then take care of cats more than any man because they deserve it. You can learn independence from your pet (only slavery from your boyfriend), they are clean (not them), they won’t get you into trouble (they will) and they are cute (always). 

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