mardi 18 mars 2014

Meeting someone new in two lessons

In my fake adventurous life, the one of someone moving in a new town every two years – my record so far -, travelling pretty often, living abroad and changing friends every year, I constantly have to socialize with new people. Thing is, I’m getting bored with all this process and came to a point where I only want to keep my friends as long as possible. Why? Simply because meeting new people is incredibly boring.
In most of the cases you’ll have to deal with unfriendly or conventional people you only feel like knocking out so that they can eventually shut up. Thank God, these conversations are worth it: you have to get through that kind of company to have the opportunity to meet interesting people in the end. Basic rule: try a few cars before buying the right one.
These people will not ask you THAT:
-          Where are you from? I guess only very few people only now what I actually mean. I have had the chance to meet some of them, which now makes me think I am not crazy. Helloooo I can’t tell you how many times I moved out in my entire life. I don’t feel like I belonging to any specific part of France. I am not even THAT French, struggling to mingle and losing my accent. Then comes the worst of all: instead of talking about something else since they didn’t get any straight answer, some people seem to really want an answer. It’s so important to know that they try to find a way of finding out where the hell you come from. Here you go: “Where did you grow up?” “Where do you parents live?” Gosh! Do I HAVE to see the place where I grow up or the one where my parents live as my entitled origins? I am proud of my” existentialist attitude”. What I am is not what my parents are or taught me, the places I am in love with are neither the ones I grew up in, nor the one my parents live in. The places I love are the countries, regions, cities, neighborhoods where I feel home. I am what I do. I am my choices, the present and future I am trying to build as far as I can…So no origins. I am not that kind of person who thinks you are not yourself as long as you forget your roots. I am that rare kind of person who thinks you are what you do, roots are chains, get free from them and stop saying “I come from X”.
Another detail: if I had to give an answer, here it is: Haute-Marne. Thing is, no one knows where that region – where my parents currently live - actually is, so please stop asking. French people are not all supposed to live in touristic destinations! This is why I looove answering “you don’t know where it is” “But where approximately” “You don’t know” (Thinking to myself: “Keep on asking, idiot. I’m LMAO in silence.”)
-          How old are you? Come on, after high school no one gives a shit. To me you are old when you never go out on Saturday night, when you LOOK old – because of hair turning grey, overweight or baldness -, when you never laugh heartily or when you only talk about your work, real estate statistics or even politics. That’s it. This reminds me of a colleague of mine who looks extraordinary old and acts accordingly; I just wish I never knew she’s actually one year older than me. Age is bullshit. Look at some witty teenagers…they’re 16 and achieved such a state of maturity that it makes they look like adults. So no please, don’t want to hear that question when meeting someone new.
-          Why did you move to Germany? That echoes back to the first question. I would love to answer “Why should I live in France simply because I am French?” Asking a stranger why he lives in your country can make him feel uncomfortable – like he has to justify his presence here – or can simply show you’re stupid. Guess what, most of European workers don’t move to Germany because of its great weather, food or culture. Ask young Spanish... I can understand you don’t know how much France’s job market is based on networking, concentrated around this unlivable city called Paris – yes yes that one you call ein Traum - and rejects young people. But for God’s sake, you’re not supposed to ignore the high unemployment rate there.
But these people might ask you THAT:
-          What do you do for a living? Not that this question is the most exciting one, but it’s a good start. It does not mean you’re willing to talk about your job the whole night, but still. As you’re supposed to spend most of your time at work during the week, telling in a few words you actually do can help defining your personality. Kind of…not completely. Maybe I am saying this because I’m European (French?), but an individual should not define himself more than 50% through his job. If the person you meet asks hundred questions about this – or worse, talks about his job for hours – then he/she sucks and belongs to the first category, i.e. the majority.
-          What do you like doing during your free-time? Similar questions are also valuable: do you like sports? Are you a party girl? If only more people asked this from the beginning of the conversation, I would have a greater social life. This is not only a way to get to know someone new or show interest to him/her, but also to discover common points and eventually enjoy activities together.
-          What was the last movie you’ve seen? Original, more specific and great way to start a debate like “I like this kind of movie” “I like this actor” “I know a good cinema in this neighborhood” “If you want we could go and see that movie next week”. Also works with “What was the last book you’ve read?” If you like neither movies nor books, it’s still a very good opportunity to ask the same in return and get an impression about his/her tastes.
-         What kind a music do you like? No comment. Best question ever. Have you ever met someone who never listens to music? Worst case, they will tell you “Anything.” “Mainstream.” “What I hear on Energy.” And so what? It’s still interesting. Best case: you find a music nerd (like me).  That could also work very well to get a date since I gave a chance to a not that good looking guy because he had similar taste in music.

You see, make you first small talks with someone new more exciting and identify those boring get-to-know questions these interesting people you’ll hang out with will never ask you first! It’s easy like Sunday morning. 

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